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Literature Text
pain and confusion,
watch the fusion
growing in a bitter soil
wraps into a defensive coil
thorns and veins to protect
all so i can reflect
days of warmth under the sun
what have we become?
biting, scratching
heaves the pain
under the name
of a pleasing fame
will release of anger
free the tamer
or is repetition
the blight we've smitten?
fighting and then rewriting
all the rhymes that we've been hiding
within our souls
we behold
our new fate that we control
bound and enslaved
thoughts concealed with hate
continue on and we betray
all the rules
within this game we play
I disguise
all the agony and all the lies
no one knows of all your crimes,
all the times that you've been trying,
and the times that I spent crying.
fighting and then rewriting
all the same words, they're never dying
within our hearts
we bestow, the familiar fate that we've condone
this repetition,
this non stop friction
these awful rhymes reveal our disposition,
our never ending repeated position
Fuck you! I will break this course!
Liberated and I can't be stopped!
My rhythm is as sporadic as my beating heart
I broke away from your pain and won't be brought
back within the game that I have fought
watch the fusion
growing in a bitter soil
wraps into a defensive coil
thorns and veins to protect
all so i can reflect
days of warmth under the sun
what have we become?
biting, scratching
heaves the pain
under the name
of a pleasing fame
will release of anger
free the tamer
or is repetition
the blight we've smitten?
fighting and then rewriting
all the rhymes that we've been hiding
within our souls
we behold
our new fate that we control
bound and enslaved
thoughts concealed with hate
continue on and we betray
all the rules
within this game we play
I disguise
all the agony and all the lies
no one knows of all your crimes,
all the times that you've been trying,
and the times that I spent crying.
fighting and then rewriting
all the same words, they're never dying
within our hearts
we bestow, the familiar fate that we've condone
this repetition,
this non stop friction
these awful rhymes reveal our disposition,
our never ending repeated position
Fuck you! I will break this course!
Liberated and I can't be stopped!
My rhythm is as sporadic as my beating heart
I broke away from your pain and won't be brought
back within the game that I have fought
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This poem is meant to be spoken with a heavy rhythm and it very inspired by Twenty-One Pilots. If I wasn't a white girl who couldn't rap than I would record myself reciting this poem. : P
It is much better to hear it than read it. Either way I hope you like the poem it is my first attempt at this style and is very different from my normal work.
Update: So I added more to the poem and now it feels a lot more complete. I am super excited for it and I would really love to turn this poem into a song, so that is going to be my next project. Hope you like the additions! ^^
More of my Poetry - kaylynn-syrin.deviantart.com/g…
It is much better to hear it than read it. Either way I hope you like the poem it is my first attempt at this style and is very different from my normal work.
Update: So I added more to the poem and now it feels a lot more complete. I am super excited for it and I would really love to turn this poem into a song, so that is going to be my next project. Hope you like the additions! ^^
More of my Poetry - kaylynn-syrin.deviantart.com/g…
© 2013 - 2024 KayLynnSyrin
Comments7
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Overall
Vision
Originality Technique ImpactIt seems that not only writing comes easy to you but writing in alternitve style does also. This is very good. Nice varied use of the lexicon, you've chosen words that have a real impact on the readers imagination. This makes for strong story telling and paints vivid pictures in the readers mind, which is entirely what good writing should do.
I will be truthful and admit that I'm not as find of this one as I am of the last one I critiqued for you but that's not to say that I don't like this work. I think it's powerful and it "feels" sincere. There's no sense of... feigned or made up emotion. It's like taking a fleeting glimpse into yourr soul. Well done.