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Submitted on
April 11, 2013
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the sea stares at me
silence is all i need
to take this pain and wash away
all that i could ever be

i am nothing
but the emptiness of my tears
and the loneliness of my fears
burned by flames of your hate
dwindle to ashes became my fate

the wind sweeps away
reminiscences of all my days
dissipate through the void
falling through with no hold

i am nothing
but the debris of my past
and the scrap of what didn't last
laid at rest with mother earth
decomposed to what i'm truly worth
This is my first poem to post up on DA and it is one of my favorites. This poem is very inspired by The Fragile album from Nine Inch Nails. The poem expresses a soul or being that is fading away through each element (water, fire, wind, earth).

Published in: Gothesque Magazine February 2014 - www.magcloud.com/browse/issue/…

More of my Poetry - kaylynn-syrin.deviantart.com/g…
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:iconevry1wantsu:
Top notch as far as I'm concerned. I'm no subject -matter expert but I do write a lot. This is very good. It captures a vision of desolation in one's mind. It tells a tale of despair, loss and pain. It's very emotive which is the first and primary thing a good poem should be.

You're technique is also very interesting. the 4 line 5 line alternating verses actually makes this more appealing as it breaks with the typical tradition of "regular" poetry. What's more, and depsite this alternaty, the flow and rhythym of the verses reamins fairly constant and uninterrupted.

High point for me: "i am nothing, but the debris of my past". That's brilliant. I've nothing negative to say about this work.
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3 out of 3 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconmission-46:
Mission-46 Featured By Owner May 16, 2013
Beautiful!!! Tc and God bless
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:iconcowboysantos:
cowboysantos Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
this is beautiful :)
Reply
:icon0shuni0:
0Shuni0 Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I love This so Much! :heart: Its a Sorrowful Beauty~
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:iconkaylynn-syrin:
KayLynn-Syrin Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:heart:
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:icontagphotoproductions:
TAGPhotoProductions Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013
thats deep. nicely done Kay. ;)
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:iconkaylynn-syrin:
KayLynn-Syrin Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you! This poem means a lot to me, it was actually really hard for me to share because it feels so personal.
Reply
:iconmuerte23:
Muerte23 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Student Writer
I got to say I really do love this, been a while since I've been on here, and to have this to read the moment I log on really is amazing,
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:iconkaylynn-syrin:
KayLynn-Syrin Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much! I am glad you appreciate it and it was able to give you a good welcome back.
Reply
:iconmuerte23:
Muerte23 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2013  Student Writer
no problem :)
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