|Random From Cosplay|
Okay look, I am sorry but everything and nothing I say will be taken well. So instead of hiding behind simple words I should just be honest about it all:
In reality life is a lot more complicated than "I'm great" but if I had to summarize how I have been doing in the past year I would have to go with something positive; So that is what I am going to stick to.
Yeah life has been hard, fucking terrible at times! I write about it, I talk to friends, I cling on to what gives me comfort which isn’t always the best things for me. But overall I have to think about what I have achieved this year to know that I am in a better place and didn’t make the wrong decisions.
My mental issues have gotten a lot better -I have accepted myself and taken many steps to improve and to find a good balance within. It has been terribly difficult and I have sacrificed way more than I wish to have gotten here, but…. but it is for the better. For everyone.
My physical health is better than ever and for once in my life I am working out. I have learned so much with dance and performance art and I feel one day I will be able to achieve my fitness goals.
My career took a turn in the right direction getting me out of a job that was tearing apart my soul and beating me down. I work at a great company, making great new friends. I get to travel more than ever and have come along way in my cosplay goals.
Lastly and most importantly the people I am toxic to and are toxic for me are healing and moving on. They are able to find happiness that I wasn’t able to provide and can really live a life worth living. A life absent of turmoil, confusion, and stress but instead can be filled with pride, community, and love. That is an achievement that makes this year good.
Yes I am depressed any time I don’t fill my life with activity to consume my mind. Yes I am happier than I have ever been and don’t regret my decision. Yes I am in a wonderful place in my life, my prime. But yes I think often of everything I have lost and it tears me apart all the time. I know I will never escape my own torment but I have learned to live with it so others won’t have to.